“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:20
When I heard the news and saw the magazine cover, I was stunned. Before my heart beat again, the Holy Spirit mutely cautioned, “Don’t say it.” He knew exactly what was percolating inside my wicked heart before I did. So I paused, asked Him for help, and promised not to write or post anything that day.
It was difficult. My flesh was chomping at the bit. “Let me at him,” it kept saying (I appreciate it when my sin nature is brash – it makes it easier to recognize). In contrast, the Holy Spirit was communicating tenderly, as usual. Actually it was as if He invisibly gestured no with His head and the maneuver created a holy breeze I somehow felt and interpreted to mean no. Needless to say, His counsel was unobtrusively powerful.
So I began this morning asking the Lord what, if anything, should I say? I felt the Lord immediately unburden me from the notion that I had to be a part of the national dialogue about homosexuality (in general) or transgenderism specifically. There are plenty of good folks out there already lovingly doing that. No, what I felt compelled by the Lord to do was to prepare myself to talk to Caitlyn directly (not literally, because that just isn’t going to happen). I should know what to say to the Caitlyn’s of the world if the opportunity arises.
The first thing I discerned was that I need to say the name Caitlyn. Yes, it pains me, but here’s the reality: as it pertains to a name, people have a right to go by whatever moniker they want and as long as it is not vulgar or obscene (in the traditional sense of those words), we should use them. Generally speaking, names are innocuous and we shouldn’t get too hung up on them and observing their requests give us a common ground where a dialog can begin.
However, re-identifying gender is another thing entirely and that of course is our first sticking point. Caitlyn is a he. Names we can change, but we cannot undo God’s workmanship. We can de-petal a rose and it’s still a rose. We can strip the stem bare of its buds, leaves, and thorns, and it is still a rose. We can toss the pieces into the furnace, collect the ashes, and but still undeniably it was a rose. There are no alterations so great or complex that can overrule the Creator’s design.
So what would I say to Caitlyn in that regard?
Nothing, at least not at this juncture. Caitlyn doesn’t need advanced theology instruction, she needs fundamental Bible lessons, for in Caitlyn’s mind everything I wrote above is foolishness. God would agree. Let me qualify that last sentence: God would agree that Caitlyn’s perception of the account is foolishness. 1 Corinthians 2:14 bears witness to that.
“[T]he natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
Caitlyn does not have the capacity to understand these maxims because the Holy Spirit has not taken up residence, therefore these premises are nonsensical; it’s exactly the condition God has told us about in His Word. It’s at this point the church should see the road sign advising us to turn around and take Caitlyn back to the basics; if there’s to be any hope for Caitlyn, we need to share the Gospel.
That’s easier said than done, right? The answer is maybe. It depends if you fully grasp these words of Jesus:
“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:30
It’s God’s job to draw the sinner to the cross and He often does it through divine appointments. All that is to say that if we find ourselves suddenly having an audience with Caitlyn, it could very well be said that God ordained the encounter. God drew Caitlyn to this discussion, despite the fact that Caitlyn’s flesh is likely doing everything in its power to undermine the exchange. What makes it easier (for us) is that God doesn’t necessarily want us to give a Gospel presentation, but rather engage in a conversation where the soil can be prepared so the Gospel can be presented. In order to do that, we need to talk to Caitlyn, but more importantly, we need to listen to Caitlyn. There’s a door that needs to be opened and the only doorknob is on Caitlyn’s side. If it’s opened we must be careful to not barge right in and throw dirt on the carpet (the not-so-subtle technique used by vacuum cleaner salesmen). Sure, we’re aching to dive into Romans 3:23, but we must listen before we can be heard.
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God
I suppose all that is to say [that] we need to be compassionate; the more outraged and incensed we might be, the more grace we need to exhibit. It makes no sense whatsoever to bowl the Caitlyn’s of the world over with Scripture that denounce their actions if they’re not saved. Essentially it’s like teaching calculus to a five-year old before they’ve learned 1 + 1 = 2.
So where do we begin?
If I ever get the opportunity it will go something like, “Hi Caitlyn. My name is Dave… so tell me about yourself.” If an ambassador for Christ can’t get past this first line, then it just might be that they need to return to the rudiments of our faith. If that’s where you are, rejoice! You have just been given an opportunity to grow spiritually.
Are you going to call him a ‘she’ also? Because you know that is two sides of the same coin. Your argument necessitates that we call him a ‘she.’ Perhaps a man should also open doors for him or he may never be open to the Gospel. What a ridiculous argument.
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No, I’m not. Man can change the name his parents gave him, but he can’t change the sex that God gave him.
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Deleting comments just makes you dishonest, not right
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My zoo, my monkeys. The comment section is for constructive dialog, not insults.
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Unfortunately, you were the one doing the insulting. Perhaps you should deal with that before accusing Christians of being ineffective for Christ’s sake because they don’t think it wise to call Bruce Jenner by the name Caitlin.
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Okay. Have a blessed day in the Lord, Anonymous.
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Also, please be careful not to fall for the worldly wisdom that says we must prove that we love people and establish a relationship before we can share the truth of sin, repentance and forgiveness through Jesus Christ. In John 4 we see that this is Jesus’ first encounter with the Samaritan woman and He wasted no time getting to the heart of the matter. John the Baptist certainly didn’t get to know everyone personally with whom he proclaimed forthrightly the need for repentance. While people may seem to hate you for doing so, deep down they will have to know that you love them enough to give them the truth, and one day they will know for sure.
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The counsel you’ve provided is based on an eisegesis of Scripture and therefore I don’t give a whole lot of credence to it.
Do you really think saying hello to someone and using the name they’re given you at the very onset of a conversation is falling into the relationship trap? Really? Do really think that after that very first exchange this guy is doing a fist pump and saying to himself, “YES! I got that guy to call me by my name. He must truly condone all the things I have done!”
That’s quite a leap.
Not.
You know what it is? It’s called being polite and sociable. And you know what else? Christians can be polite and sociable to sinners. Christians really need to stop being afraid of being nice. Somewhere we’ve gotten the false notion that nice equals endorsement. Nice is nice and nothing else.
If your counsel is truly your position, my guess is that you’re not very successful at sharing your faith. That of course is just a hunch.
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Unkind response
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Nah, if I was unkind, you’d know it.
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My brother decided 20 years ago to do this same thing. He changed his name to Michelle. I would NEVER call him Michelle. To do so is to give a measure of approval to the whole act. It is the first step in you accepting this lifestyle and he knows it. He actually has also gone through the surgery. My brother claimed to be a believer, too (just as Bruce Jenner does). In fact, the Methodist church he attended had no problem accepting this. I would be very careful how far you take the fellowship thing with transsexuals. Their main desire is to force you to accept them. We have no fellowship with my brother any longer because we would not invite him to our home dressed as a woman. There was no way I was going to have him around my young daughters and have them growing up becoming desensitized to the darkness that had overtaken my brother. I wanted them to always have a repulsion for this sin, as we should with all sin. He was welcome to come to our home as a man – not as a woman. I firmly believe I Corinthians 5:5 is the best Biblical advice. We have always been open to talking to him. But he broke fellowship with us by doing what he did. We would not allow someone in our home practicing sin right before our eyes: doing drugs, drinking alcohol to get drunk, wearing sexually explicit clothing, etc. Neither would we allow someone in our home dressing like someone of the opposite sex. Lest you think we weren’t loving, we spent years trying to get him help. We helped him out financially, also. But he was bent on doing what he wanted to do – nevermind that he broke my parents’ hearts, broke up his family, paid for his surgery instead of sending his kids to college, etc. This is not just any sin like the sins we all commit. This is choosing a lifestyle of sin. If you have opportunity to speak to someone like this, by all means do it. But please don’t fault Christians for taking the I Corinthians 5:5 approach. Prayerfully this will be the approach that will bring the transsexual back to Christ because of their desire to be back in fellowship with us and Jesus Christ. There is a time for talking and interaction, but there does come a time to turn them over to their sin, praying that God will do a work.
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We must remember first and foremost, God created each and every one of us to be loved – “He loved Peter the hothead. He loved Nathaniel the racist. He loved Thomas the doubter. He even loved Judas the traitor” and He loves you and I and Bruce/Caitlyn. I know this because His word tells me that “God showed his love for us in that while WE WERE STILL SINNERS, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
How did Christ draw you to Himself? Was it with criticism or anger – maybe He pointed out all the rules and instructed you to “man up.” No? In His word, it tells us that it’s His kindness that leads us to repentance. Remember that next time God gives you an opportunity to be His hands and feet or mouthpiece.
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Perhaps that is how God drew you to Himself. My experience was considerably different, as are the experiences of all who find Christ in this life.
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What I find more telling is the cultural reaction to this man’s folly; which appears to be overwhelmingly supportive and in agreement.
If I may speak “Christianese” for a moment, being mindful of what is written in scripture to everyone:
“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.”
-Galatians 6:7-8
I can appreciate the Dave’s sensitivity in the article in the face of such confusion. I will try to glean wisdom from it and the comments. Nevertheless, I am still going to pray for “Deuce Gender” to get off the Fruit Loops Box and back on the Wheaties Box as Bruce Jenner before it’s too late. Hopefully, as a champion for God in Jesus Christ! And like Dave said, with a new name given by the Lord Himself.
That’s my prayer for Caitlyn, I mean Bruce, I mean…Lord have mercy on us all…
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From our Christian perspective, there are essentially three dynamics in operation: how do we (Christians) discuss the transgender issue amongst ourselves, how do we discuss the issue in a forum, and finally, how do we discuss the issue with an actual transgendered person. I submit to you that while we share the truth in each setting, the conversations are structured differently. The phrase, “Know your audience,” comes to mind.
When debating the matter in an open forum, I might use terminology similar to Edward’s comments below, however if I’m talking to Jenner himself, I would place much of that jargon on the back burner until it was established that he was open to talking about salvation found in Christ alone. It’s not that I am opposed to a ‘fire and brimstone’ approach, I just believe that’s not our leaping-off point.
It’s my contention that if we were invited to have a conversation with Jenner, and it was our desire to share the Gospel with him at some point, we’ll never get past the handshake if we refuse to call him by his name. Saying ‘Caitlyn’ is not an affirmation of anything, it’s just a name — call him something else and there will likely be no discussion.
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Let’s pray that we will be able to call him “child of the Most High God” one day.
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Amen
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My experience with such people is that they are not interested in Christ until He opens their hearts and minds. I speak this not only from interactions with such people during my sinful years, but as being a sexually distorted person myself. I wanted nothing to do with Christ, the Bible, or the Christian religion because in my heart of hearts, I knew that to hear the message and submit to it meant an end to my chosen lifestyle, and I couldn’t imagine anything other than the pleasure of my chosen sin(s). My response, and the response I see from such similar sinners today is one of disrespect, name-calling, and outright angry antagonism, no matter how graciously I couch the words of the message.
Only after God allowed my sin to run full bore through me, almost killing me and bringing me to a point of deep misery, did I receive the willingness to listen and the gift of God’s faith so that I could turn to Christ. Coddling me – or any sinner for that matter – in my sins would have been the worst thing that could have been done to me.
Love deals in reality and seeks to change that reality for the better. Your response is to make the distorted to be real. I cannot do that, not only for the sake my own relationship with truth, but in respect of men like Bruce who deserve the dignity of truth and not the coddling of the lie they have chosen to live in.
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Nothing in my post suggests coddling.
Let me put it to you this way, if a homosexual in ‘drag’ was introduced to you or if you were sharing your faith and you met such an individual, and their first words were, “Hello, my name is Susan,” despite the fact that you knew in your heart his name was not Susan, you’d probably say, “Hello Susan.”
Granted, your very next sentence might be, “Is Susan your real or given name?” which of course would be appropriate [primarily because] you have engaged this person is a conversation.
If however after the introduction you said, “Susan! You’re name isn’t Susan. You’re clearly a man in woman’s clothing,” I suspect you just slammed the door in his face and the conversation will abruptly end.
Sometimes as Christians we’re so quick to get the truth out, we bypass the love that is needed to convey it.
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No, I would simply say hello.
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Of course you would. 😦
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Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
His name is Bruce. He is a man, no matter how terribly he has changed himself.
I will not call him “Caitlyn.” And you shouldn’t either. The reason is very simple. This very small contingent of people are striving to get the world to in some way admit to them that they are normal people. We cannot do that. We must stand for what is normal and what God has ordained, and in order to do that, when the abnormal appears, we must treat it as such. Which means that when I am approached by a man who has mutilated himself and insists upon trying to get all around him to treat him as normal in that state by addressing him as a female, I simply cannot do that.
You don’t call an SS officer in Nazi Germany a Boy Scout. And you don’t call a male by female name because his distorted emotions, which need healing, insist that you do. Reality is reality, sir
It is not being mean, although those sympathetic to Bruce will say so. It is being true to the truth of God, His Creation, and what reality is.
Does this mean that I have the right to call Bruce names, to act superior to him, or to be a world-class jerk if I was to meet him (which would be, quite frankly, darn uncomfortable). No. Charity must rule. But charity is always based in truth, and to call Bruce by a female name is doing him no favors.
Thus, I believe you are in error with your post and I believe that you should insist upon calling him Bruce, which is his male, given name.
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Then you sir will never get through the door to reach him with Christ’s message of redemption. Calling him Caitlyn does not demonstrate you support his decision, celebrate his alterations, or suggest what he has done is ‘normal’ in the eyes of the Lord. It’s a name. Similarly, calling you ‘sir’ in no way suggests that you are deserving of that moniker (although you probably are).
Ironically in your comments you have given him names of your own, either directly or indirectly. Names such abnormal, mutilator, and distorted. I guarantee you will NOT be able to share Christ’s love with him when you have called him those things.
You say that you would be “darn uncomfortable” if you ever met him. I would suggest to you that you bring your ‘feelings’ before the Lord for examination. Quite frankly, they’re not normal…not for a man of God. I mean unless you’re threatened, you should be able to talk to anybody at any time.
I can’t wait for Jesus to give me my new name.
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