In order to define ‘perfect love‘ we need to ask the right questions, but If we’re starting off with, “What is perfect love?” rather than, “Who is perfect love?” we are on the wrong track and may come to an errant conclusion.
“Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwells in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwells in love dwells in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but PERFECT LOVE casts out fear: because fear hath torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:15-18, emphasis mine)
Perfect Love
Perfect love is Jesus. When we grasp this, the burden is no longer upon the Christian to reject fear, but rather to yield to the only One who can cast fear out, Jesus Christ. Our passage also says ‘fear has torment,’ in other words, those living in fear are tortured by it. Think about that: there are Christians in our midst being tortured not by men, but by emotion.
In contrast we see the images of Christians actually being tortured; heads being violently 
removed, bodies drowned in cages, tossed off building tops, or burned alive. These videos often show us characteristics that one would not typically associate with fear, but reveal a calm and peace that surpasses all natural understanding that can only be attributed to God’s indwelling presence. There is no doubt a burden involved with these horrific events, but I submit to you it is a light burden because of Jesus, the Perfect Love that casts out tormenting fear.
removed, bodies drowned in cages, tossed off building tops, or burned alive. These videos often show us characteristics that one would not typically associate with fear, but reveal a calm and peace that surpasses all natural understanding that can only be attributed to God’s indwelling presence. There is no doubt a burden involved with these horrific events, but I submit to you it is a light burden because of Jesus, the Perfect Love that casts out tormenting fear. “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30)
Christianity is Hard
There are of course Christians who struggle with the notion of yielding to Jesus in order that He can cast out fear. Perhaps many of us wrestle with it to one degree or the other, myself included. However, those who struggle with the doctrine, but then pronounce, “Being a Christian is hard!” have crossed a triple line: they’re distrusting God, adding to the Bible, and calling God a liar. In a word, it is blasphemy. This sort of blasphemy won’t keep you out of Heaven, but it will make your Christian walk miserable.
“All who believe in the Son of God know in their hearts that this testimony is true. Those who don’t believe this are actually calling God a liar because they don’t believe what God has testified about his Son.” (1 John 5:10)
Choose to Trust
Rather than making the erroneous and discouraging remark [that] being a Christian is hard, choose to take God at his word.
“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
If you are tempted to fear, or are facing any temptation, trust God that He will show up at the precise moment of your need and reveal to you the way to escape, remembering that your ability lies not in your flesh, but in the Perfect Love, Jesus Christ, who dwells within you.
He Dwells -- The B'log in My Eye 