Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:1-2

I really didn’t want to enter the 50 Shades debate. I think it was because I’m still reeling from the President of the United States 1standing up before the 2015 National Day of Prayer and reminding us all that we should dismount our ‘high horses’ of anger and justice (in regard to Muslims burning a man alive), and pause to remember the church’s historical record. I’ve this vision of President Obama calling me out, “Ya know Dave, I think you should get off your ‘high horse’ and stop talking about all this ‘sex within marriage’ stuff. Seems to me your record on this issue makes you a hypocrite.”

Ya know Dave, I think you should get off your ‘high horse’ and stop talking about all this ‘sex within marriage only’ stuff.” 


He’s right.

Where do I get off warning others about their sexual exploits after I’ve had my fill. While I’m at it, what business do I have warning others about drug and alcohol abuse, drunk driving, aggravated assault, or dare I say murder. Let the record show that Dave has lots and lots of blood on his hands.

A ‘Biblical Reality’ Check

This is where we all need to pause and consider all the players in the Bible, save Jesus. Can you think of one who was without sin? Me either. But yet these same men, inspired by the Holy Spirit, wrote the Bible. My mind immediately flashes to the Apostle Paul; a guy who arrested and murdered Christians, not unlike some barbarian Muslims we know! How dare this wretched man offer us Godly counsel and call it wise.

Ah, but for the grace of God, there go I.

Our One Defense

For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from works of the Law. Romans 3:28

Sinners have only one defense in this matter: we boldly proclaim Biblical truth because we are justified by our saving faith in Jesus Christ. It is not the Christian who speaks, but the saint who is robed in His righteousness. No one in Christ’s church sits upon a high horse except Christ Himself, and it is in His name we may speak. It is for this reason I often declare on these matters that I have no opinion – I have a Bible. Therefore, we boldly proclaim that sex outside of marriage (i.e., marriage between a man and a woman) is wrong because God has said so.

I Don’t Agree

Please don’t argue with me or anyone else, read Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; and Jude 7 for yourself. If you still don’t agree, bring your debate to God, however trust me, “But Dave did it,” is not good fodder for your argument! The Bible commands complete abstinence before marriage, with sex between a husband and his wife being the only sexual relationship God approves.

It’s Black and White

5o Shades of Grey is nothing more than perversion. Even when I was active in my sexual sin I would have recognized this book as perverted, depraved, and pornographic. There’s nothing gray about it being smut. Know this: if you’re a follower of Jesus Christ and find yourself attracted to this book (and reportedly there are many), you are being deceived and you’re opening a door to consequences you may not be prepared for. Check out the last verse of Romans 1.

Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them. Romans 1:32

Earlier in this same Book, the Apostle Paul makes ill mention of all practitioners of unrighteousness, with dishonorable recognition going towards fornication, inventors of evil things, an unnatural affections. If we stop reading after verse 31, we might ride away on our high horses saying, “Shame on these evil doers,” but verse 32 serves to knock us out of the saddle by reminding us that if watch (or read) from the sidelines, we’re just as guilty.

Please don’t reject 50 Shades because some hypocrite told you it was filth; reject it because God says it’s more harmful than you know.

Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:7-9

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And if they (wives) want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church. 1 Corinthians 14:35

In Reality…

This verse is intended for the men of the church, not the women, and Christian men, we must understand the implication.

If our wives are not being spiritually nourished by us and therefore, have been placed in a position of having to get their answers outside of the home, it is a shameful thing.  A regular occurrence (husbands) suggests that we are: poor providers for our families, not steeped in the Word of God, and not living submitted lives to Christ Jesus. The shame that comes with that falls directly on the husband.

Even  if the husband is doing these things and the wife is still going outside of the home with her questions, the onus still falls upon the husband–that kind of behavior requires his correction.

Is There a Danger ?

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21

There most certainly is a danger!  We are setting ourselves up for failed marriages, or at the very least, marriages that are not all that they could be.  The practice effectively places stumbling blocks before our spouses.

The Bible assures us that our hearts will follow that which we treasure.   Therefore, if by our shortcomings we force our wives to ask their questions outside of the home, we run the risk they might begin to treasure the source and ignore the well that has run dry.

Godly men, don’t let it occur!  Correct the behavior.  It’s the will of God for your marriage.

Men Do Not Have All the Answers


Nevertheless, out of respect for her husband, he should always get the first crack at answering her questions.  If he doesn’t know the answer, his best response would be, “Honey, I’ll have to look that up or make my own inquiry and I’ll get back to you.”

If it’s an urgent situation, let the husband determine who should be sought out to provide the answer.

What’s a Wife to Do?

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 1 Peter 3:1-2

Pray.  Be in the Word.  Bring the uniqueness of your situation before the Lord. Tell your husband that you want him to be the one that you can go to and trust for the right answers.  There’s a good chance he’ll respond.

Men, it’s what women want.


But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3


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And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:23-24
News Flash

Men and woman are different and debating the matter will not negate the truth. As we read the Genesis account of man’s creation, we can understand why (we are different). God, in making woman, took something away from man and gave it to her. As a result, men lack something and we can openly say that, ‘Men aren’t all there, ’ but either are women. However, and in an incredible fashion, when a man and a woman are united in marriage and in Christ Jesus, all the pieces are back in the box.

Wives, submit to your own husbands…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. Ephesians 5:22, 25

Spiritual Give and Take

Woman: you came from man’s side, so stick by his side. Man: Christ died for the church, so die to yourself for the sake of your wife. Satisfaction and fulfillment will be the result. Show me a marriage that is failing or in disrepair, and I will show you two people who have not grasped, or are not practicing this biblical principle.

Leaving and Cleaving

The Genesis passage is clear, men are to leave mom and dad and become one with their wives, but the verse also implies something else significant: completion is found in our spouse alone.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also…No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. Matthew 6:21, 24

As innocent as these things can begin, there is a tendency for a man or a woman to seek or to find comfort in another person other than their spouse, which temporarily fills the void created when God created woman from man—and I am not talking physical. So often, a man can find a kindhearted and sympatric ear at work, at church, or wherever his wife happens not to be. Women on the other hand might find a man for a similar situation where she could have used her husband, but he is either unwilling or unavailable. These situations start off innocuous, but if sustained will result in a breakdown of the relationship at home and eventually a relationship outside of the home. All it takes is one little spat at home for the partner to say to him or herself, “So-and-so at work would understand.”

And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home…1 Corinthians 14:35a

When I read a passage like this, I fully understand the context from which Paul is speaking. He is not saying that women cannot ask questions, or even that they cannot have a role in the church, but rather he is recognizing the mandate God put forth in Genesis 2:24, a man and a woman will be joined as one and to each other they will cling. We are to adhere to our spouses firmly, closely, loyally, and unwaveringly. When husband, or when wife falls short or lets us down, we have our completion in our oneness with Jesus.

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